When relationships don’t work out – be it a personal or a professional one – the tendency for one or both parties to feel bitterness is very likely to happen. In fact, we could almost say that it is inevitable. Consider spending years with someone and all of a sudden, you both decided to part ways. Or that instance when the career that took years to built suddenly went crashing down when you got fired. When these things happen, we inevitably feel bad about it because we hoped and prayed for these things and now, they are gone.
When life takes a sudden turn for the worse, you may try to act like you weren’t hurt, You were a little bruised, but you are over it. The situation is under control. You’re not feeling any bitterness at all. But is that really the truth? Sometimes, we get so good at telling lies that we end up fooling ourselves as well. If you are at that point in your life where you are not sure if you are really OK, if you are still holding on to some heavy emotional baggage from the oast, here are some signs to look out for:
You repeat conversations in your head.
The minute you talk to someone in your head and relive a conversation you had with that person in the past, you are already on the road to bitterness. It may seem that talking to someone in your head is harmless, and for the most part, it is. The problem is that doing this is a reflection of how you were not able to say your piece to that person. And with that, it will become increasingly difficult not to be bitter because you never had the chance to talk it out.
You often complain.
Constantly complaining is a sign that you are not happy with what you have. And that could likely result to becoming bitter in the long run. On the other hand, if you are perfectly at ease with where you are in your life right now, you wouldn’t complain as much, even when you see that other people are doing better than you.
You get jealous.
This one is not just about you and your ex. When you get jealous of other people’s success, then that means you are bitter. There is a part of yourself that has not yet let go of the hurt and the expectations that were not met. If you let this go on, it would cost you in the long run because jealousy is a monster that could ruin your chance at being happy.
You seek vengeance.
Obviously, wanting to see someone fail is a surefire sign that you are bitter about that person. What you need to understand is that wishing for someone’s failure will not put your bitterness to rest. What you need to do is to find peace and contentment without looking back at how well – or how wrose – other people are doing.
Do you need closure?
Some say that seeking closure is the best way to let go of the bitterness in your heart. To a certain extent, this may be true. However, bear in mind that closure is just one of the roads that lead to acceptance. If you are given closure and you still don’t want to accept things for what they really are, you will always end up being bitter.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to forgiving everyone for everything and living a life filled with joy, peace and contentment.
Watch this inspiring story from Melissa on how to break from bitterness to release healing.